spend about four hours on the phone everyday with
clients and prospects for my speaking business. If I
cradle a phone handset between my ear and shoulder, I
wind up at the chiropractor every week.
year I went high-tech with a telephone headset that
fits in your ear with a little microphone. So now I
look like an employee at McDonald's drive through. It
even has a mute button so when I need to clear my
throat I can push it, "hack", push it again
and no one is the wiser.
three days after I starting using my new toy I went
downstairs to see my wife who was in the kitchen
working on the dessert chapter of her pun-filled
cookbook, "Stand By Your Pan".
I love desserts but as a professional speaker I know
that you don't eat sweets before you speak on the
platform. It causes phlegm. But this is the phone; no
big deal. After sampling every gooey treat twice, I
headed back to the phone.
of the people I talk to are presidents, CEO's, meeting
planners of Fortune 500 companies or heads of
associations. As I started to talk I realized I'd made
a big mistake with the desserts. No fear though, I
have my mute button.
went as follows: "Yes, Bob about the national
sales meeting you have coming up" (hit the mute
button) Ahemmm, hack, ahhummmm. (Hit button again to
release it) "Oh, you already have someone. OK,
maybe next year." Then, "Sally, I wanted to
talk to you about putting together a fantastic keynote
for your convention" (Hit the mute button)
Ahackkk, hurumph, ack, haaack! (Hit release button)
"Oh, you have to go. I'll try you again
two days of this, I phoned my wife downstairs in her
office. As I was talking, I had to belch so I hit my
mute button, burped, then hit the button again. As I
did, Diane heard me laughing and asked what was so
funny. I said, "Well, I just belched and you
couldn't hear me."
said, "Oh, I heard you."
said, "You heard me because you're right
said, "No, I heard you over the phone!"
then I thought, "This would be a good time to
read the instructions."
seems with this phone you have to hold down the mute
button the entire time! For two days, I'd been
clearing my throat, belching and hacking in these
meeting planners' ears. I couldn't figure out why I
hadn't gotten a job for two days. I'm sure they were
thinking, "You know he's very funny - but what a
Justice, a motivational humorist and Humor Coach is
the president of Corporate Comedy specializing in
showing corporations the hows and whys of bringing
humor into the workplace. Jeff can be reached at:
jeffjustice.com or 404-262-7406